One Lagos Fiesta

One Lagos Fiesta

Sunday 26 February 2017


Someone asked me yesterday why #theweddingparty movie is being sold on the street. And I sent him this. This is the same reason most of our government officials loot the treasury. Because the forfeiture laws are child's play. If a pirate is caught, he gets away with a fine of 40k. If I steal N1b from government coffers, if I hold on to that for 4 years, and you ask me to refund it, I can give government N2.5b sef. The penalty should be a deterrent. Not an option. It should hurt. Like if men who rape minors get castrated and those who rape anyone... death by hanging. So let the pirates pay an equivalent of $250,000 and a 5 year jail term. Don't forget, those people on the street are not the pirates. The pirates are in a hotel. Waiting for the proceeds. But if you start picking the guys on the street up... change will come.

Count the CALORIES

If you are trying to lose weight but you can finish this bunch of banana... or even lay to rest half of it, FORGET IT. The calories are the devil. Count it and know not to go over board. If you consume 1000 calories at a seating, during meals (×3), then make sure you are ready to to burn at least 1500kal daily and if you can do 3000kal daily (morning and night) you will be fit. If you don't, the calories you fail to count will count against you. Every Dodo that you eat is like a sponge. It just helps you convey the oil. Same thing with kpomo. Don't even mention isi ewu... banga soup... and Owo! The calories you take can only be reduced with dieting, abstaining and exercise. Oh! Yes, drugs can help too. But if you lose 10kg without change of lifestyle, that weight returns with a vengeance. I have been dancing between 95kg and 100kg. But since I have not exercised as I used to... I got on the scale today and bam!!!!! 101.7.... when I no be radio station!

Dubai Camel Ride

And just after a distance of about 70feet... at 40 dirhams per person, these camels 🐫 would have contributed their own bit to the GDP of Dubai.

When you see those historian friends... AVOID THEM LIKE A PLAGUE.

The people who will help you into the future you crave will not consider your past. UNLESS YOUR PAST IS ALL THAT MATTERS. The person who wants to show you the way may ASK to know where you are coming from, so that he can understand how much of the past is driving your desire for the future.

Saturday 25 February 2017

Do not be unevenly yoked

The bible said Do not be unevenly yoked. Hold that thought as I mention a few things that you may not agree with. Many believe "once you can think it you can do it". Hey, think from now till tomorrow Dez no way somethings will happen. If you weigh over 100kg, there is no way you will beat Usain Bolt in a race.


I know, some think the world rotates around their... Non eating end. Many have gradually evolved to discounting the sacrifices you make and pigeonhole it like they deserve it. Trust me, what ever I finally decide to do for you, is something I could have done for someone else.

Whistle Blowing

Whistle blowing is now a contact sport. Pardon the pun. While the person's account is red, your land is green it's green ooo oooo! Because the Lord of the harvest told me so. Just blow the Whistle, point the spot and once it's spotted, you get alerted. This is where all them account officers who have been managing billions of dollars for these guys need to clean out and clean up. Just coded lyrics pass the info... leave the rest to the Whistle blower. You can remain an informant. Let the new premiership begin.

Dollar Stashing

The reason we are still finding monies stashed away by government officials is because of the policy that stops people from transferring stolen funds. Let Donald Trump change the dollar now. Or just change the $100 bill. You will see how many politicians will die of heart attack. The amounts they have stashed in bunkers and safes across the country will drive up their blood pressure. The way Dollar will crash in Nigeria will surprise you. Because when they see that they can't move the funds they will start selling at N200 to $1... and only banks and importers will buy.

Sunday 12 February 2017

The Nigerian Scenario

I.E.... Mr Abel has several wives. Only the ones in Green, Black and Red skirts have jobs, where they earned a living. Martha the one in green is a Nurse. The one in black is a teacher. She goes by the name Rose. The wife in Red, is a banker.

Exchange Rate

  • Why will the exchange rates not go up? Besides the consequences of trade imbalance, total dependence on oil revenues, failure to develop local industries, poor and untapped tourism sector, Niger Delta issues, poor states that only take but can't contribute to Federal Accounts...


If we do not take things serious in this country... things will be so serious we would be worse for it. So many years ago, a group of importers of orange juice woke up to a rumour that Obasanjo's government was going to ban imported juice.

A Man is not a financial plan

This is what I should have sent to that extremely pretty lady I met in a Governor's Lodge, in Abuja in 2009. When I say she was a beauty... I mean finer than Bianca OJUKWU. And as we got gisting and waited for Our Excellency to attend to us, she revealed that she had a 2.1 in Microbiology.

Don't lose your flame!

The first time i came across this wise words, I went back to read the part of the Bible that said love your neighbour AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. It rang home with me. Many years ago, in 1986 I learnt how to swim in the legendary Abraka River.

Happy New year Message

  • When the happy new year messages started flying around from on the 1st of January, a thought crossed my mind. There would be some people, who will decide that they will not send someone they know, a happy new year message, just to see if they will receive one from that person.


  • The amount of fatal crimes committed in this country, using weapons would have been reduced by a large percentage if some custom officers are not bent on giving the agency a bad name.