Value

Most times, the reason you actually get a job, is the value that you bring to the table. That is why you get employed. Not the fact that you went to a great school, speak well, dress well, came highly recommended. Some time back, a friend wanted an executive assistant.

Opportunity

Jesus did not send someone to go and call Zacchaeus from home. In the parable of the 10 maidens, the other 5 left the dance floor. David met Goliath on the battle field. Opportunity knocks but once... Hey, have you built a door or a wall? You have to create opportunity for opportunity to knock.

Customer Service

Customer service is why many customers become loyal customers. Good customer service makes your customers your brand ambassadors. You will get more referrals from a safisfied customer than from a bitter one, naturally! It's not a service provided by only one department in an organization... If a car with a company's logo hit a child and runs off, it's the company that would have bad rep... Not the department using that vehicle. (Tbc)

Olajumoke

I have read, seen and heard so many takes on this #olajumokeorisaguna #tybellophotography happenstance. The thing that still amazes me is the fact that several people, failed to see the undercurrents that make this story insightful.

Words

Nothing lasts forever. On its own that is. You make it last forever. This morning, a friend called to tell me not to bother to beg. Meanwhile, the babe had called me on Friday to complain.

Don’t Be Selfish

Don't be selfish! Don't be selfish!! This message can not be screamed enough. As ordinary as it may seem, that is the stark truth. I see this in entertainment always. 

People introduce you to Showbiz. Then you blow. Then you begin to fence others who want your kind of opportunities. Look at Messi. He could have scored the penalty to set his 300th goal. But he set up a hat trick for Soarez. That's what selfless is all about. 

STAND UP ACT

A Comedian has many platforms for expressing the talents of making people laugh. It could be on stage as an actor in a play with other actors. The comedian can also be on television or radio. In the instances where the act is professed by writing they can be called humorists and if they toe the line of drawing they are cartoonists. The comedian who performs live is called the stand up comedian. These are those comedians who hug the microphone alone and perform to an audience using materials they expect to provoke laughter in the audience. These lot bank on their abilities alone. If they are funny... good. Otherwise, they are to blame too.

The stand up comedian is a master of his success. He is so called because from the days of old, the act is one where the performer is expected to use every trick in the book to create funny stories, or like we say in Nigeria, gists or faboo(fable). The extent to which the stories climb on the laughter meter or swing on the haha pendulum rests fully on the stand up comedian. This is no mean task. It's not a one exam test. It's a continuous assessment act. You are either good all through the act or lose vital laugh points. Which in the end determine if your performance was excellently brilliant, good, just ok or poor.

WHO NO GO, NO KNOW. WHO NO KNOW, NO GO

WHO NO GO, NO KNOW. WHO NO KNOW, NO GO 

Sometime in 2009, I think, (because we had just moved into IKOYI) I posted a status message that talked about how it was becoming increasingly important to do a pre employment medical test on all my domestic staff. I even recommended it to many people. Especially to those who had children, and the children and would be in constant contact with these domestic staff.

The people who cry more than the bereaved jumped on me. It is the abuse of the fundamental right of the domestic staff.  One person even offered free legal services to the domestic staff. And boasted he or she, ( DONT remember if male or female) will sue me for all I got. Adding that because it want to give someone a job, DOESNT permit me to dehumanize the person.

VALUE HAS LOST ITS VALUE

PLS READ THIS ENCOUNTER WITH A LADY THAT CONVINCED ME THAT WE HAVE LOST OUR VALUES IN EDUCATION AND THE THINGS THAT DEFINE US... 

2 weeks ago I was at an event when a lady came in and soon as she was introduced as DR. Yemi, I initially thought she was a medical doctor. Turned out she was (is) not a medical doctor. She is an Academic Doctor. Not honorary. She earned this one. And At the age of 27, she was now back home to work as consultant in a South West state government economic project. We got talking and she later told me she was a friend of mine on Twitter, but DOESNT comment or retweet. She only reads my thoughts

About 20 minutes later, she and I were the only ones that had an engaging conversation going. Once in a while the celebrant jumped into our conversation and headed off again to mingle with other guests. We were actually talking of how people hardly consider education as a means of making it in life, When a lady with all the assets, that God had given her, in the right places, nearly too much sef, stepped in. All eyes moved to her. I noticed many guys were taking pictures with her. She must have more than the beauty to have all these men dancing around her. She was in demand.

SHEPOCRITE

SHEPOCRITE

The Holy Book says let your NO be NO and your YES, YES. It is the bid to modify the NOs and the YESes that we end up complicating matters. Then NO becomes that annoying “maybe not” and YES takes on the character of “well maybe”. In this mode, no matter who you are, you are in the lying zone.

Just so I don’t lose you… I will explain what I am rambling about. If you have related, or even observed from a distance, some of the ladies of our time, they are in the habit of saying one thing and meaning another. They may not even say it but expect you to figure out what they did not say. As if men have become mind readers overnight! One of such annoying thing is when you as a gentleman, if you ask me it is still a very tough thing to be in the current clime, ask a lady “if” she wants a drink and she says no but would want a sip from your Chapman. Mbanu! You said no, abi? What suddenly led to your change of mind?

LOVE KO... LOFF NI!!!

I wanna take a little time and review a song that brings love under scrutiny and gives anyone who wants to be sincere, some perspective on the phenomenon called love. Love as we now know it is a foreign import. The way love is practised in Africa has changed greatly. Thanks to the different influences that have "helped" to beat it out or into shape depending on what you define love to be. Even the Oyibos that we burrowed all the love nwantiti from, confess they equally are at a loss as to what love truly is.

Just so you don't bother yourself with trying to see my point, I will explain.

Did you know that some people in the Western world, have ended a marriage of 2 months or less because their partners snored? And they could not take it anymore. Doesn't that make you want to ask if they did not spend nights together before they got married? And even if they did not, isn't the marriage a reason to tolerate the midnight orchestra? And is a snore not too small a reason to pack it in? Do they know what Nigerians tolerate? Snore? Pulliiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzz!

DEAR GOD,...

God Almighty
C/o Jesus Christ
Heaven
Above.

Dear God,

RE: MATTERS ARISING

MINGWE... In capital letters. Ikira for you... Heeyyyy... heyyyy.. Heeyyyy... Hey!!!!

It's me your son, Atuyonta Alleluya Akporobomemerere, I also go by the name Ali Baba. That's my guy name. I have had some matters that have been pressing hard on my heart. So I thought to let you know.

I hope this letter meets you in perfect condition. If so, doxology. I know you are ok, just checking noni. How is everyone in heaven? Jesus, Holy Spirit, Holy Mary, Angel Gabriel, Saints Peter, Paul and Micheal, ehen Ajayi Crowther nko? Shay dada ni everybodi? A dupe.

GUESTS LIST.

No beating around the bush. Straight to the point.

Anyone who grabs hold of a guests list in Nigeria can tell a lot from the list. The class of people, the venue, the food and drinks that would be served there, the kind of circles the host can be found in or wants to be associated with, what kind of party to expect and if the event would be a must attend. Hustlers are always spot on with this type of thing. They will tell you who, what, when, where, why, how and which Of the event. No lele.

Nigerians were not called the happiest people for nothing. We know how to party. And we party hard!!! No matter the occasion, we are ready. Be it a burial or naming. In other words, whether the person is incoming or outgoing... We party. I have even heard of where some guy who was a Deputy Managing Director in a bank, got home to meet his house all done up and redecorated with new furniture and a new coat of paint, just as he returned from depositing the body at the morgue. He was about protesting, but he was cut short by his friends who told him to stop protesting. "Don't say the one that will make God vex for you. Do you know if this is his way of saying 'Its your time to shine?'"

OIL STAND!!!!!!

It was sometime in 1995, that it first hit me that we, as Nigerians, had lost our educational values and expectedly, our future. I had observed it and tried to put it in perspectives, but the more I tried, the clearer it became: THAT WE LOST OR FUTURE FROM THE WORD SCHOOL. I encountered people who at the time were never do wells and had no plans to. Legitimately, that is. They had chosen the path and are going to hell with it.

If you allow me a few paragraphs( ok, truth be told, many paragraphs) you may see my point.

In the beginning, our people were basically farmers. Farmers in what ever way you defined it. We planted. We harvested. Sold the produce. Planted more. Harvested more. Sold more... Then came religion and along side it education. Like a wise writer once said the white men came with a bible in their hand and we had the land. The white men now told us to close our eyes for prayers. When the prayer was over and we had said AMEN!... we opened our eyes, they had the land and we had the bible. This parable goes beyond the exchange of bible and land. It's a matter of lost birthright. It's a matter of lost values and misplaced priorities.

THERE ARE RUNS AND THERE ARE RUUUUUNS

Act One Scene 1

A 4 Bedroom Duplex in Parkview, IKOYI

It's morning and 3 Ladies are in different stages of getting ready for the Sunday morning

KEMI: (Knock Knock) Nkechi!!! Are you still sleeping? Get up jare!

NKECHI: Leave me alone! I want to sleep

KEMI: Get up o! When I was telling you to let us leave the club early last night, you were using your yansh to do krukere on that Aristole's thing at the AUTO LOUNGE. So get up oo

NKECHI: You are just jealous because you were not the one he liked.

KEMI: Me jealous? Of that shapeless round pig? God forbid!