One Lagos Fiesta

One Lagos Fiesta

Wednesday, 13 June 2012


NO MEANS NO. So say people who champion anti Rape campaigns. That includes me. I have to put that right in the front first so no smart genie begins to start terming me pro rape. I hate rape and think removing the device would reduce future occurrence permanently.

Anyway, that's a matter for another day.

As a guy, who has been about town, expectedly, I have been told NO with such emphasis on the word as if I was offering a bribe to Pastor Enoch Adeboye. In most cases, it was either the girl was taken ( already had a bobo), knew I had nothing to offer her ( babes who had their eyes on ready made guys), wasn't her type ( whatever!) or just plain and simple... Did not want a relationship. So she says NO. After trying a little more new lines and she still insists her answer will not change, most guys, including yours truly... Move on.

Some guys keep pestering babes to a point where the lady says, "WHAT PART OF 'NO' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?". This is often said with the disdain and look reserved for retards and the sight of human poopoo under a very expensive shoe. 

In my opinion, the only time a guy should press on is when a lady says any of these: give me some time, let's just be friends, let me think about it, I already have a boyfriend but he is in London, please I dont have time for your WAHALA, I am not ready for another relationship... Beyond any of these or their equivalent, JUST WALK AWAY! But i got curious after thinking about the matter and just to understand what gets a lady to the point of NO MEN'S NO... I did some CSI understudy. 

I discovered that when a lady says no, she believes you have nothing to add to her life. Or you are not worth expending her love on. She may also have looked at issues beyond the normal eyes to conclude that you can not satisfy her. Yes. Haven't you heard some ladies can tell by just looking at your shoes that you are not in their class. Some ladies, I also have been told, can look at your fingers and thumb and know if they would be investing in a large shipment of Duracell batteries. Don't ask me how. Some can just conclude by the way you dance, the tone with which the NO will be delivered. 

Sorry I digressed.

Many ladies, get to NO because of the heartbreak someone of the male gender has caused them. Not excluding the fact she may love watching Ellen Degeneres not only just for being a great comedienne and television host... Go figure. My CSI investigation revealed ladies consider height, complexion, shoulder size, forehead, pedigree, spoken words, dress sense, ATM capacity, ambition and so on and so forth.

However in the process of my investigations, a guy told me of how a lady he met in Abuja during youth service in 2006 said an emphatic capital NO and even told him to lose her number. He came to Lagos got a job with a multinational and in the course of work, 5 years after, met another sweet lady, who he fell in love with. As fate would have it, he ran into the Abuja babe that told him capital NO, earlier on this year during the OCCUPY NIGERIA thingy... After so much catching up, She said he was not serious. That if he were serious, he would have pressured, because she REALLY did have something for him.

Did I mention this gist was inside the guy's 2011 Mercedes Benz AMG G55?

I had to ask myself, when a girl says you should have persisted to win her love after she says NO... What part of the NO did she want you to understand?


  1. A good piece; serious but hilarious. Women are very complex beings, who knows what goes on in their minds? Another aspect to look at is friends on both sides - if the guy has not been approved by her clique of friends, her No will remain No even if she feels otherwise. On the part of the guy, his friends will keep urging him on even when they know the lady is into another relationship instead of calling a spade a spade.

  2. No, no, no, no... Women NO beta *winks*

    I am a male-feminist o!

  3. Don't mind us o. Everybody like good things that when we say no,after some time seeing good and better things can change our no. But thats not good

  4. *****Not excluding the fact she may love watching Ellen Degeneres not only just for being a great comedienne and television host... Go figure***** nice work baba i thimk i am addicted to your blog now, always well written never knew u had yhis much talent

  5. Sir some ladies say NO just to ward off most guys but not they really don't mean NO.. I have asked a lady out before and she said NO but due to my persistent nature I didn't let the matter rest but instead I put in more effort.She told me she has a BF but i didn't relent in my efforts,after so many disturbances she conceded to my advances and i asked her why she first said NO when she knew she would say YES later on,her response was " you know if you say YES to a guy so easily he will take you for granted and even think you are cheap" I was like you could have lost what you so much desired by saying NO.

  6. Hahaha no means NO! Mehn una need come Yankee, all that excessive fronting way Naija babes dey do for Naija no dey pass airport for here.

    Here, if you blink you miss am! Who get time to front? Abeg bash your eye lashes twice, twirl your hair once and give him your number

  7. This is all the more real and difficult, if you aint the woman pestering type. They are so complicated that you cannot use one template fit two let alone all. For each woman, you'll have to write a distinct programme for coding and decoding, otherwise you run the risk of been at the receiving end of their individual and collective wrath.

    Men! Make una come learn ooo!

  8. Honestly. Does saying yes to a guy on a first date make a woman cheap or a whore? Just asking.

  9. Money controls almost every lady thats alive. I bet most guys will agree to this. No offence meant oh my ladies. She might say YES after she sees you next time pulling up in your drop top benz.

  10. David oyakhilome28 June 2012 at 01:57

    Boss! In as much as I am laughing and saying this gril na thief, also I see this realistic, no matter the situation a u urn is allowedarticularly when u see what you have missed out on bcos u were short Sighted. I happens in business to quickly clanged into an investment when u now begin to see the fruits you were blind too initially