Pages

One Lagos Fiesta

One Lagos Fiesta

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

QUESTIONAIRE

Omanwumi, besides being a Warri Pickin and an artiste, is my sister, twelve times removed. Her talent did not come to light with the Nigerian Idol and end there. It continued to shine in the hot hit after hits she released since that reality show. One of those songs that got me loving her more is the "IF YOU ASK ME" song. It's not just a well produced song with a sweet melody and hook, it is loaded with messages. Message of misplaced sexuality, incest as a consequence of confused fatherhood and societal rot.

The matter touched a nerve. I bet that was why she penned those lyrics. And each line of that song was on point. But nothing made more sense than the question that begged the question. IF YOU ANS ME NA WHO I GO ANS? (ok, before you say it's wrong, in Warri, ask is ans. Because when we ANS you something, you then ANS-WER!) When a question confronting you is beyond your capacity to answer, it's best to say "If you ans meeeeeeeee na who I go ans?


I have several questions that I have been meaning to ask. I will just push them out there just in case somewhere out there, some smart fella can help out with some answers. I know some may sound stupid but hey! I am entitled to my opinion too na. So here we go...

Why don't we have a data base of thumb prints of all Nigerians?

What really happened to that Nigerian Satellite that got missing in orbit?

How much did that Satellite cost?

Why build a satellite when you could have used the money to generate say 5000megawatts of power?

Was the satellite so high on our priority list as a nation?

How come those who gave bribes to Nigerians in the Halliburton and Siemens case are rotting in jail but the people that received the bribe can't be found?

Who killed Dele Giwa? Who killed Bola Ige?

How could a whole ship, the size of a whole block in 1004, have been missing?

If a JSS student in Warri or Oshogbo, can't read or write, would their NECO AND WASC questions be written in vernacular?

Was Fela Anikulapo Kuti a prophet or what?

Why is NTA, with all the network potential still like it is?

Why is piracy still thriving, when there are visible shops where the pirated products are sold?

Why is the police not arresting street hawkers who sell fake or expired products with expiry dates changed, to be to the bottom of the illicit but dangerous business?

Why are teachers afraid to take tests to determine if they are qualified to be teachers, but penalise students who refuse to take exams that qualifies them to graduate?

Why would some members of a congregation not have school fees to pay for themselves and their children, yet the pastor drives a new S-Class?

Why do we have a rail network but no trains on them?

How do fake products get into our Nigerian market, go on sale and there are custom officers, police, SON, NAFDAC and so on and so "fraud"?

How can a man that was living in a rented duplex become governor and his tenure or even while in office, build mansions, in Abuja, Lagos, South Africa, London and Dubai... And the anti corruption agency is still asking for evidence of corruption?

Why would there be children below age 10 on a queue to vote in an election and the police officers sent there by INEC don't see anything wrong and don't arrest them?

Why do lawyers defend people caught raping minors?

Why do some people who speak good English find it hard if not impossible to write the same English?

How come a Porsche Blackberry of 450k two months ago, now sells for 230k?

Why would a woman who is always asking do you still love me just because she needs assurance get upset when a guy also asks "Are you sure the baby is mine?" just for assurance?

Why do Custom officers destroy seized frozen food when there are orphanages and motherless babies' homes, but sell off the cars that are impounded?


There are more questions but let me breathe first...

40 comments:

  1. there seems to be a common answer to all these...and its quite simple!! the way it applies to each question might be different, bt its still same wherever and however u look at it...my answer is "THIS CAN ONLY HAPPEN IN NIGERIA, AFTERALL ITS NIGERIA"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Buh after all this years,y hasn't a country wiv so much *intellectuals* grow and improve and move past this degrading stage!!

      Delete
    2. Because most of our intellectuals are intellectual in mouth only. We like to talk not do.

      Delete
  2. Here's my one question. How can we have a database of any sort when we dont have light

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having a database has NOTHING to do with "having light". We ought to have a database of all the bio-data of Nigerians (thumbprints inclusive).

      Delete
    2. Really? and u power the database with what? sentiments? FYI we do have several already (passport, voter's register, mobile phone registration, national ID)

      Delete
  3. I'm really moved by these questions, they are all on point but the answers are not far fetched yet we can't lay hands on them. The generalised answer I can give is CORRUPTION. Corruption has eaten down the fabrics of this great nation. Greed on every sector. Sometimes I ask where is our conscience? Infact am just short of words cos what's happening in Nigeria beats my imagination. God help us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect summary

      Delete
    2. @VeraSweets, are U corrupt? That is another question? If you are not, do you think everyone else is? If everyone else is not then, it means we are not channeling our focus on the problem. But we prefer to play the blame game!!!!

      Delete
  4. Dear Sir, I'm heartbroken after reading through. But'if you ans me na who I go ans'.The corruption and moral decay is at its peak.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What ans-wer shall we give to this on point questions? Shall we say greed or a fundamentally flawed nation governed by myopic leaders? Or is it d greed of a myopic followers, who sold their votes thereby mortgaging theirs and many others future? What answer shall one give to alibaba's heart rendering questions? Sing omawumi's song i shall...

    ReplyDelete
  6. If u ask me, na who I go ask?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tofunmi is sooo on point. Most of these things happen only in Nigeria.
    Spend billions to build and launch a satelite that got missing in orbit after a few months yet, more than half of the entire population lives in poverty, there's no light, a lot of government owned schools (state level) have no roofs or chairs. It makes you wonder if that satelite was ever launched and if it was, have the pple who built and launched it been arrested for defrauding the nation?
    Criminals walk free on the streets, drive their flashy cars around (cars bought with tax payers money o) and no questions are asked.
    I met a girl sometime ago in sagamu there who was in Jss3 about to write junior waec and she cldnt make a complete sentence in english language. it makes you wonder how she even crossed from primary to secondary school. What language do their teachers speak to them....
    i honestly dont know the solution to the problem of this nation cos if we say start with the leadership, what's the assurance that the pple who will replace them wont do worse than their predecessors e.g. Solomon nd his son (can't remember if its Jeroboam or Rehoboam).
    God help us in this nation

    ReplyDelete
  8. The answer to all is HIGH LEVEL CORRUPTION in every sector of the government....so in deep that drastic measures are needed, in a certain country called china God bless a corrupt politicain that is caught in the act but here in naija we celeberate criminals ..my own questions are ' how come GEJ is still the president '.....' How come OTEDOLA is not yet in PRISON'

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sigh! The answer is to look for greener pasture outside Nigeria jor...#ForYouth wey no fit stand what they (Corrupt leaders) are doing to this great Nation. We have so much but eat little/none. I cry for Nigeria. God shall visit so many soon with his wrath.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How come looters of public funds still walks about Abuja and people are still hailing him?
    How come somebody got money to contest for Anambra elections just bcos he was the immediate past CBN governor?
    How come when they err, lawyers are debarred, priest defrocked but electricians are not delighted?
    How come cookery if cooks, Carpentry is for carpenters, Poetry is for peots but Adultery is not for adults?
    Oga Ali na your hnad the Ans-swer to my questions dey oh!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well to no.1 question, I thought the voters registration was a move towards that and to the last question I concur! To the other questions especially about the 5000MW of power, to quote Omawunmi and Warri people- "If you ans me, na who I go ans?"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Akinshola 'Segun Lawrence19 June 2012 at 02:24

    Sir these are truly thought provoking questions. However,one question that's a bit more intriguing is; why are this questions peculiar to this Nation alone?
    And if we're to move forward as a nation i think this questions must be answered{especially the ones regarding corruption}......

    ReplyDelete
  13. i think we all knw the ans-wer. Its all down to corruption. Its become a way of life and if i dare say, our culture. Pple both rich and poor do amazing things at the thought and sight of money. If you ans me, i'll say generations to come will stil ask this same questions. I'm a corper serving in ekiti state and was supervising an SS2 class english test last week where the students were asked to write letters to their fathers. This kids couldn't spell jack not to talk of making a complete sentence. Being asking myself how they got that far. God help us

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nna ehn... 9ija is fucked... Damn!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ans to d satellite que is just misplaced priority. The answer to d rest is Corruption or caused by our corrupt system. But d one that touched me d most is people that do speak very good english but can't write because that is so me. I do speak good english but once it comes to penning my thots down, I have a mental block. Working on it though but can't say I'm much better at it now. Very good questions BEGGING for answers.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I wish Nigeria was sane enough to really look at these questions and treat them....lots of issues...its a lawless and disorganised country at the moment. We would get better by Gods grace. I Believe in Nigeria!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mr Ali , pls ans, why do Nigerians pay more for whatever they have in aboundance?

    ReplyDelete
  18. You can't write proper sentences in English but you can spell penning and mental block correctly..who's deceiving who..."we make statements and write sentences"
    As regards most of these questions,No one can provide total answers,at least not here..but let's be truthful,what is the assurance that You and I are any better and won't do worse if we get the chance. Before you get to these so positions in our beloved nation,you must have God fathers that have certain demands and rules you must follow (I suppose) and are ready to have you taken off if you go against them..forgive me if I'm wrong.
    Again forgive me,I am not an advocate for military rule but don't you think it's the best for Nigeria. I mean,who born you well to collect contract and no do am...dem go chop money but....If anyone has seen "The Devils Double",if you haven't please download it and watch..It's about Saddam Hussein's rule...though the son was a somewhat terrible person,Saddam begged everyone not to touch any member of his family with the promise of providing them whatever they needed( at least basic amenities)...won't that be a good step for us in this country..We know you must steal,there's no denying that but if you meet 1billion for account,spend 700million for us and you can go die with the rest.

    ReplyDelete
  19. 2 Questions that got me thinking:

    (i) Why don't we have a data base of thumb prints of all Nigerians?


    (ii) How can a man that was living in a rented duplex become governor and his tenure or even while in office, build mansions, in Abuja, Lagos, South Africa, London and Dubai... And the anti corruption agency is still asking for evidence of corruption?

    We all know that Corruption is the #1 Problem in Nigeria, followed closely by #2 Poor/Bad Leadership!

    However, we were told that identifying your problem, gives you 50% of it's solution!

    Oya, make una solve these 2 problems na!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. If u ANS me, na who I go ANS?

    ReplyDelete
  21. D answer here is CORRUPTION!....Everybody up dere wants 2 eat with d ten fingers.....not minding what d masses get....May God Help Nigeria....AMEN!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ali Baba I nor gree wit the penultimate question o,do u stil love me and are u sure d baby is mine na diff. Mata o....lol!

    ReplyDelete
  23. All we need is God's kingdom...#shikena...we all wld be worse if given a chance to rule nigeria..Power corrupts abosolute power corrupts abosolutely...God's kingdom the ans to all those questions...#gbam

    ReplyDelete
  24. The root of all these problems listed are caused by greed, lost of moral values and decay in family settings.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have asked myself some of these questions before, but like you said, who will I ask? I sincerely doubt if we will find the answers, even though they are so obvious.
    May God deliver us from ourselves!

    ReplyDelete
  26. BROS Ali, no be me go talk aaaaam, im heavy for mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Number One Q, You watch too many crime TV, Hollywood ones.
    The one about children voting, you should have said 'chase them away', not 'arrest them'. They can't be arrested yet, they're not adults.
    The last Q, that's the best and most meaningful.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Why do lawyers defend those that commit atrocities on children. I haven't defended one yet but the answer to that is very simple. Our legal system, should ideally,operate on the innocent till proven guilty tennent. Everyone is entitled to legal representation. When we start cutting out sectors of people as people unworthy or undeserving of legal rights, where will it stop? Very soon, we will all fall into one category or the other that will deprive us of our fundamental human rights. The fact that we all still have recourse to the justice system is why there is a semblance (albeit fleeting)of normalcy in society. Disclaimer: this is not me condoning child molesters. I would rather be on the opposite side, ensuring they get serious jail time or death. But I understand that their ability to have access to the courts is for the greater good

    ReplyDelete
  29. I have an answer to the customs question: the frozen foods are considered harmful and are listed as outright prohibited goods. So they are destroyed wen seized. The vehicles are not prohibited. They're only seized if duty is not paid. And if duty is not paid at the allotted time before the vehicle is considered 'condemned, they are auctioned at the duty rate of the car.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I know not the answers.....no be today!

    ReplyDelete
  31. The only answer is corruption and the inability to grow out of the status quo... @olugbenga_IT

    ReplyDelete
  32. Bros if you ask me, na who i go ask?

    ReplyDelete
  33. The question about NTA still being the way it is has been bothering me too. I feel the major reason is because it is run by a government that doesn't like change and improvement.. It's very sad.

    ReplyDelete